How To Walk Into Infinity

Cracking The Ant Code

In the misty mornings, I stand on the edge of time. I inhale a lungful of heavenly oxygen and prepare to follow my bliss. I live a few days here every month in this wooded area. Among dense growth of trees and vegetation.

I step out into the haze, all geared up to navigate through the green matrix of natural beauty. It’s safe enough for a carefree stroll, one would think. But not really.

I expect to encounter some natural obstacles. The ten-clawed mammoth. The many-eyed tentacle monster. The red fungus zombie. The deadly slimed worms. The creepy reticulated pythons.

So I shift my trajectory towards the paved floor around the house. That’s where all the obstacles in the green matrix morph into more familiar avatars.

My path is an exciting obstacle course. But I have a zero tolerance policy. I’m like the rocket that’s already launched. Irrecoverable. Unstoppable. And no power in the world can stop me.

So I break the freshly spun cobwebs. Scare off the spiders. Shoo off the mongoose mom and her two kids. Stomp on the humongous dry teak leaves. Kick the butt of the snails. Deliver a flying kick on the centipedes. And crush the ants that cross my path.

I’m the king of the road. I’m the perfect incarnation of the ghost who walks. No obstacles allowed on my path. All my detractors and obstructers must shudder with horror when they think about me. I’m a stain on the world’s environmental conscience.

And then I hear a voice as loud as a thunderstorm,   – “Where’re you going as if you have ants in your pants?  You are trespassing on our ancestral land!”

I screech to a halt.

It’s a giant of an ant, breathing diplomatic fire on me. He introduces himself as ANTony.

Considering my pedestrian background, it’s unlikely that I can outdo history’s greatest minds in the quest to crack the ant code.

Yet here I am conversing perfectly well in ant language.

“Come with me” demands ANTony.

Soon we are in their community.  Suddenly there’s some commotion.

And The Queen makes her entrance.

The unnerving silence is broken by a rhythmic stomping and clapping and throbbing body percussion beat. And the air resonates with the Stomp-Stomp-Clap-Pause beat and the power chorus of their anthem – “We Will Rock You”.

The whole gathering rocks with the Queen.

And the multitude follows up with the next song – “We Are The Champions”.

The music reaches mercurial heights. An immersive and exhilarating experience.

I’m guided across to the Queen. Her Highness explains their biggest problem – Humans walking over them leaving them maimed and dead.

I clarify that this land is part of the house and that I have a right to walk there. 

The Queen explains that this land has been their ancestral home since centuries. And it is the humans who have encroached upon their land. 

We want to coexist in harmony with you.

I enlighten her that once I start to walk, I’m unstoppable. 

The Queen summons ANTony aside.

A solution is found. And they make me an offer I can’t refuse.

ANTony walks me back to the paved area around the house.

He draws a lazy-eight-curve. Two circles each of 6 feet diameter. They’re in the south-north direction.

It’s the age-old secret formula of how ants have survived every calamity since the beginning of time. 

I now do my infinity walk respecting the environment. No one gets hurt. Nothing gets disrupted. 

I walk with my head held high. 

The mammoth, the monster, the zombie, the worms, and the pythons ogle at me from the green matrix.

ANTony tells me that The International Congress of Ants has nominated me for the coveted Peace prize.

It’s just that I’m finding it hard to stop. 

On my infinity loop, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.