Out of sight, Out of mind?

~ MMC 2.0

Do Birthdays Ever Die?

No matter the time of day or season, my own birthday remains etched in my mind. Yet, lurking in the shadows of my memory is another birthday, one that I have shamefully allowed to slip away: my Mummy’s.

She departed this world more than five decades ago, long before I could grasp the profound void her absence would create. Since then, I have clung tightly to the memory of her death anniversary, as if that were the only date worthy of remembrance. After all, aren’t birthdays meant only for those who still walk among us?

But one quiet day, a wave of guilt washed over me. How could I neglect the birthday of the very person who made my own celebrations so magical?

As I sift through the fading black-and-white photographs in our family album, I am filled with a bittersweet mix of happiness and regret. Each snapshot tells a story—a testament to her unwavering devotion to making my birthdays extraordinary.

In the photograph from my first birthday, I lie on my tummy, clad only in a nappy, my mouth agape in delight as I bounce with unrestrained spirit. From thereon, each birthday became a whimsical theme—my cake shaped like a ship while I donned a naval officer’s uniform; another year, an aircraft cake paired with a pilot’s attire. Each image captures me proudly posing beside these creations, blissfully unaware of the love and effort woven into every detail.

I took it all for granted, wrapped in the cocoon of childhood entitlement, never pausing to appreciate the lengths she went to ensure my happiness. It wasn’t until illness cast its dark shadow over her life that I was jolted into a stark new reality. 

When she left me at the age of 10, I was no longer the centre of anyone’s universe. And birthdays became hollow echoes of their former selves.

Today, October 18th, marks the day when the woman who gave me life came into this world.

If birthdays are indeed significant only while we breathe, shouldn’t I honour her birthday as long as she lives on in my heart?

Happy birthday, Mummy. Though you may be gone from sight, your spirit remains forever etched in my soul. Until my last breath. 

17 thoughts on “Out of sight, Out of mind?”

  1. What a beautiful way to honour your mother’s memory! It’s easy to forget that our loved ones deserve to be celebrated too, even if they’re no longer with us. Your post has inspired me to reflect on my loved ones. Thank you!🤝👏🌷

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  2. That was beautiful ! Yes, we need to cherish those beautiful moments we spent with our loved ones who have passed over.. not easy though. We miss them so much …the grief and pain is overwhelming…things we should have said or appreciated.. happy moments and sad moments , regrets all bundled together.. it’s difficult to make sense of these emotions . In these moments, we hold on to His Word , His Promise with Hope and Faith to lead us on!

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  4. What a beautifully poignant reflection. Your words evoke a profound sense of love, loss, and the complex emotions tied to remembrance. It’s often said that we honor the dead by keeping their memory alive, and it’s clear that your mother’s spirit still shines brightly in your heart. Birthdays, while often associated with those still living, can be equally significant for those who have passed. They remind us of the life, love, and joy someone brought into the world, and in remembering, we continue to celebrate their impact on our lives.

    Your tribute is a reminder that those we’ve lost are never truly gone as long as we keep their legacy alive in our hearts. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt piece—it speaks to the universal experience of cherishing the memories of our loved ones, even after they’re no longer physically with us. Happy birthday to your Mummy, whose love clearly shaped so much of who you are.

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  5. So true. We remember only the date they died of those who are no more with us. We forget we know them because of their birth. Good thought Mohan. No great thought.

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  8. This has poked my ❤️. 24th Oct is my mom’s 80th birthday. I am going to make it her best. Thank you!

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